who knows why our hearts work the way they do... who knows how one fleeting thought can manifest itself into reality, a complete life change, a complete new opportunity.. how is it that we can ever think anything is permanent.. when, in only seconds everything we thought as secure can be completely shattered? shards of foundational thoughts that were only bullet proof to the rain... and the gun shot is fired. and your world is turned upside down.. the sky is purple, the water a golden auburn.. and tomorrow it will all be different ... your whole outlook on life is changed.. you walk with a different step and sing a different song and it vibrates through your body.. you realize the opportunities are endless.. all you ever needed was someone to strike the match.. someone to start the train.. and the tracks multiply before your eyes trying to adjust to the new and blinding light that seems to make everything surrounding you glow. a thought reborn. a possibility planted... ever growing.. the tiniest wish floating in the fading sunlight.. limitless.. haste-less... with nothing but a time and a yearning heart to be where it belongs.. to find that contentment and certainty when everywhere else there is none. ahh the wishes :)... you see them by the thousands.. and it always seems that they are catching the perfect amount of sunlight, like they are just riding on the solar bliss of hope alone... all we need is a bit of breeze..
and mine came at 2:00am last friday.. teasing through my window like the train whistles.. and it was then I knew I had to leave. I had bought my plane ticket the next day my and explained to my boss that i needed to go home.. how essex was not making my heart happy.. and how could it? when all it could think and dream about was wyoming, and the endlessly beautiful life I had there.. And so I was at the airport monday evening, having finished my last couple days working in the kitchen with Rich.. so ready to be home. And my dearest diary.. there just aren't enough words to describe the way the mountains make my heart stop and my breath get caught in my chest.. and the butterflies.. like you are watching magic.. it is the closest thing to love i could ever imagine feeling. i am so thankful to be home.. and it consumes my whole being <3
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