oct 18 2010..

hello love,
I wish there was a way to take everything I am feeling, mixed with everything I am seeing and just place every sensation onto this paper.. it is around 6 o clock here in the beautiful Tetons of moose Wyoming, catching the last few rays of glistening sunshine before it sinks behind the pass. I was as the canyons in the peaks, full of snow, slowly transform into the dark crevices the sunshine escapes further into dusk. So cold it looks, icey white in the gleaming still.. such contrast to the blazing shine of the sunset. Only a few clouds tonight.. my favorite of abalone twilights.. the palest of blues melted into even softer yellows until you meet the blinding golden rush of color.. it is like a huge magnificent watercolor.. maybe what I will paint tonight.. It is cold, but without the slightest breeze so the lingering highlights keep me warm on my sunset bridge overlooking the abandoned cabin and the fields of golden grasses that almost sing when they move. Especially beautiful now that fall has turned the tips of them red, so striking against the blue world I am surrounded by.
It was a gorgeous Monday.. another Indian fall, cloudless.. endless sky kind of day.. the frost layed so perfectly on every blade of grass, melting into a glorious morning of pure light that reached every end of the horizon.. one of those days you could see every rock on the mountains.. very snow flake from the night before. I worked by myself today, again up at the spa, winterizing the plants and raking more. Took off a bit early and headed to my favorite spot on the hills before the bench.. so high you can see everything from the snake river, such a deep crystal blue.. all the way to Jackson lake.. so north against the hills that stay so purple all day. Soaked up every precious drop of sunshine, so thankful it is so beautiful and warm still.. let it sink into my skin as I just listened to the breath taking world all around me. <3 I let ye thoughts wonder.. not so extreme like I have been allowing, but staying close, playing in the day dreams of reality.. thinking about this winter, where I want to be.. and this summer how I hope to be back here enjoying all of this again one last time before I want to finally make my trip across the world to New Zealand :) I am hoping to save everything I have from now until then, using my time to plan and know exactly where I want to lose myself.. and find myself.. I have realized that I have been worrying too much, because I am not used to being so limitless and plan-less.. when really it is all unfolding the one way it should, this is the journey, this is the adventure.. and I am so thankful to be living in every moment of it, and conscious of the pure notion of the thought. Giving into the universe.. into faith.. is that not what I have been wanting and trying to do? Just to be able to sit and look out onto a world teeming with mystery and magic and opportunities and breath easily knowing the ones I am supposed to find will come? And maybe not here, maybe not in new Zealand.. maybe not in Colorado this winter, but it is all the experience.. it is all the journey.. and I am looking forward to every second. <3

The sun is gone now.. only the shadows of another brilliantly, beautiful day lasting long on the grasses to remember the suns travel across this endless sky.. and it is in reality that we are just as the grasses.. singing in the wind as if it was the natural thing to do.. soaking up the sunshine.. thankful to be a part of the earth and grateful to have one more tomorrow.. it is as simple as that.