Dec. 29

Dec. 29 2010
I write to you as the brightest sunset shines through the windows in the kitchen casting Christmas shadows through our tree still beautifully decorated, waiting for the family to be together again so we too can celebrate together. It was a gorgeous day, not one cloud crossed through the endless stretch of crystal blue sky, even as the wind blew fierce through the warming air wrapped up in brilliant sunshine. Still cold this morning, the colors remained soft as the sun rose, my first morning back to our house wanting to wake up early to start strong with the therapy I have been given to follow, as well as the stretches to try and relieve m aching body. Sleeping is still difficult so it was not as easy to get up so early, but within the hour I felt fine and warm in the sunshine that started to come through my open window so I could feel the winter outside and remember what it might be like to wake up in Wyoming. Adam kept me company through the exercises.. another reminder of my snowy life 2000 miles away.. it is still hard to think about, pulling hard on the pulses through my heart… my house and my mountains.. driving down the highway and watching the most beautiful landscape unfold into the most magnificent winter I can imagine.. One day love, one more thing to look forward to.. So it is then I begin my day of distraction, focusing on the healing, the therapy.. the life I now have been given to live and make the most out of. Slowly I took my shower and got dressed, continued to clean and unpack the best I could with the crutches until it was time for physical therapy. It felt beautiful outside and I was immediately thankful I was getting to go. Jim helped me in and dropped me off for the next hour. It was a successful session, each time I think I am able to do a little bit more, almost able to bend my knee.. just shy of 90 degrees. Most of the things aren’t too painful, but I know it is only to help, so it is there I keep my thoughts. I will heal.. Jim picked me up and brought me home where I was able to spend the afternoon outside, it was a beautiful day.. clear and so warm in the sun. I walked through the field and watched my own mountains as my thoughts played on theirs. Feeling the sun as it sank lower, the wind across my face and acknowledging the pain that is still within my heart. As much as I accept what has happened, and the strength I have to gain, I know what it Is that I am supposed to learn and grow stronger from, I just pray that the yearnings in my heart will never fade.. and it is within that I find my strength.