nov. 7 2010

magic <3
It has been forever since i have been able to write and to be honest it wasn't because I did not have the time, more like the energy to be able to capture all the thousands of thoughts and ideas and dreams i have been exploring in my mind for the past couple of days.. It is fascinating how quickly things can change and how instantly you can choose to create such magic and wonder in your life.. so simply it can be done and so immediately do some things happen.. And the more time i spend sharing this beautiful place with someone who is just as breath-taken from it as i am.. the more I, myself am falling in love with the incomparable master piece i find myself surrounded in every day. A good friend from home flew out this past Thursday to spend some time here, at the ranch, working with my boss and I - just to get the feel of things, to experience something new, to stare at the beautiful mountains... and it is so wonderful to share the same passion i have for everything here and watch how it transforms the entire being of someone who has never known. How i wish i could do that with everyone.. Amazing to think how many lives would change, how many souls would be enlightened just by experiencing the life and beauty that is here. It does change your life.. there is no doubt. How easily your everything is put into place, how clearly you can think and see.. how endless the possibilities just explode into opportunities.. and how peaceful you find your yourself... your soul. It is as if it were magic.. and just how impossible it must seem to someone who never knew... the idea of inspiration and pure enlightenment produced by the over powering beauty of nature. When you take everything you think about life.. the complications, the drama, the stress, the work... all of the figuring out, the planning, the worrying.. and surrender it, it is almost as if your body flows into withdrawal.. almost like you forget how to function without the egotistical, material things that we create our lives to be..
And it is in that stage where you arrive here.. granted it is just a physical place, the mountains, the plains, the rivers, the peaks and valleys.. the trees and sky.. but emotionally as well it is a haven.. I cannot explain the such intense, humbling feeling you drown in when you first find yourself gazing at the mountains that engulf you.. but it is like a huge wave breaks into your body destroying all the ego, striping you only of what is real.. As if it was washing your soul as you stand there dripping with the new beauty. And it is incredible how from that moment on your body craves that feeling, that first rush of adrenaline from being broken into and renewed.. the emotion is addicting, and so powerful you find yourself slowly slipping into a more balanced and beautiful way of life.. simple and gentle, as if you were walking through the forest barefoot and cautious of every yearning plant for sunshine.. as your soul as well is yearning.. sometimes it just takes a little more time for searching <3..
Watching how this magic has worked into the life of someone who has never known this experience before is even more moving.. never knew such emotional peace could be found both physically and mentally,.it is simply beautiful the transaction and love beginning to take root in another soul.. same as the deep feelings i have started growing since i first felt that wave crashing into mine. I love it.. love watching the disbelief wash over as the sun sets into the biggest rainbow of pinks in the sky, the glistening snow penetrating the jagged peaks of the mountains, the way the sun catches every sparkle of frost in the morning, and the stars... nothing can even compare to the magic at night when you are immersed in nothing but a blanket of black filled with a million diamonds, clear enough so you can see every different color they sparkle in and out of.. holding your breath as if you could hear them whispering so many light years away, gripping against the deep cold of night and the chills from the coyotes singing.. It is like taking someone's hand and leading them into never-land, a soul once blindfolded that will never be the same.

it can only be magic...

So the days have been beautiful and busily spent working for Meridian with Jack and Julie and on the Ranch with Aaron and Anne. With more winter weather coming, (this time probably to stay), there has been a lot of work in town while the roads are still manageable and decent to drive.. Even though some mornings it has been so cold and the fog so thick we have not been able to see past the hood of the truck. Rhiannon and I have stayed occupied either with cleaning Mike's tractors, detailing the work trucks, moving things in the office, working on Mel's new apartment at the bottom of snow king, getting ready to paint our apartment (which is a hideous blue right now.. along with the dirty pea green bathroom). We have bought a warm copper to use on top, a lovely shade of "cedar pass" that seems perfect for a cabin-winter home. It is a nice place, on top of the Meridian office building with a beautiful, magazine cut out kitchen and living room with a huge stone fireplace and massive windows looking out the ski resort mountains. It is right in the middle of town so everything is within walking distance, granted my snow boots make it through the next snow. The bus station is right at the corner and the Aquatic center right down the street.. (very excited about getting back into swimming). As it turns out Rhiannon will not be moving back to Vermont and chose to stay here as well, so even if splitting a room might get cozy, at least the rent will be not as crazy. I will hopefully also be getting a lot of hours at the ski resort where i will be working and my time spent at the actual apartment will be minimal. (especially with a free ski pass! - very awesome!) I got a job working in a restaurant on top of the mountain (you actually have to ride the gondola up to get there.) It is a very nice, fine dining, cafeteria style place where I will be serving and busing, catering to the very busy ski crowd they always get. So many job interviews and visitations have been taking place as well between us two. Still holding out on more job to try and save up some money this winter for my travels in the spring.
So finally on this beautiful snow-promised sunday I am able to find the time and energy to give to writing all about this beautiful and spontaneous life.. So thankful for everything I am blessed with, so amazed and intrigued at the effect of this place on my soul.. and his, to watch and fall deeper in appreciation for what i am able to have and live for and how it can change the life of someone else. To cherish the small and simple things that make your heart so happy <3, hearing from your best friend and feeling their love even over 2,034 miles, your family.. the breath taking pictures you are able to capture, the magical feeling when you are able to capture a moment in a phenomenal sunset or shooting star.. how lucky to have that one place and time and live it.. how crazy it is to think how it resembles our own short time in this life.. this one tiny moment to capture everything wonderful and magical we are blessed with. so much can i be grateful for in the incredible chance i have.

oct 29 2010

Friday.. what a week it has been! Finally am I able to sit down and spend time capturing this amazing adventure that seems to go by faster and faster everyday. I think the last time I wrote there was still so much snow and still going, but today it has started to clear up reaching the 30s and beginning to melt into rain puddles. The sun has felt wonderful, even if the temperature hovers in the 20s for most of the day down to 9 at night!) It has been wonderful to be outside and working and looking so brilliant like winter finally. The pictures have been stunning with the light from the sun and the snow, everything glistens and sparkles like new.. i love how it completely transforms the world outside into a glistening masterpiece through a universe of snowflakes covering everything.. I love how the air gets so cold it chills your lungs and you can see your breath against the clearness of the endless blue sky. How the deep comfort of the cold greets your skin like a shock and makes the warm things so much nicer ;). The aspens are particularly beautiful, the white against white with the dark carvings of brown interlacing the bark.. In the mornings the branches freeze and seem to glow in the faintness of light so early before dawn.. along with the frost on the fading green sage brush and the icicles staggering down the cabin roofs.
job fair
I am so thankful for the gorgeous ride into town today. Mike and I drove to the job fair they are having at ski resort and took all the back roads so we could watch the mountains in the sunrise and the woods around us transform into such a stunning display for the snow and the ice from the night before. The fair however was not as glorious and we spent a llooonnnggg morning in line after line, interview after interview, dragging from building to building repeating the same things I have practiced since I began working.. So looking forward to having a steady job and never having to fill out one more application.. Which I am hoping will happen after landing one this winter. Having the ranch in the summer along with this gives me the months in between to travel ;) Exciting if it works out - half way there! Another pretty drive home in the mid day sunshine, perfect timing for a much needed run along the ridge lines with the aspens in the warm light.. walking later with Sam and Bentley down to the sage brush fields and the wedding pasture to try and get some pictures of the mountains with their winter colors. It is so pretty how on the nights like the how the sky turns the palest blue and just seems to melt into the rocks of the mountains, while the snow and the clouds blend into one almost as if you are looking in the reflections of a lake just instead it is the sky.. Never do I have a doubt that I have completely fallen in love with this piece of earth.. it amazes me how every morning I can watch the same sun illuminate the same peaks and still lose my breath.

It never gets old, how blessed to have the chance to find love like that <3

oct 27th

Oct. 27 2010
Hello beautiful :).. goodness another busy day, but wonderful now tha sun has come out and we are able to see the mountains for the first time since the snow started – and they are gorgeous completely blanketed in white.. dappled with the light rays that trickled in between the clearing clouds. It was a stunning trip into town, even if the roads were horrible.. Rhiannon and I went in today to clean the company’s tractors from the summer season.. freezing cold in an old car shop we danced and sang and washed until we were soaking wet and exhausted. Headed back to Meridian to have lunch with Ann and move more things into the apartment I am going to rent up stairs.. goodness it is beautiful! I have two huge windows over-looking the Snow King ski resort, a gorgeous kitchen, Huge fireplace and having everything else so close is wonderful.. It is true that I will miss the Tetons terribly and will miss my cabin here at the Ranch, but I am looking forward to getting a job, back to working, and spending the winter with some of the most amazing people I have ever met. I am so thankful for Jack and Julie for all of their amazing support and help.. I don’t know where I would be without them, but it is a blessing to have them in my life and to be a-part of everything they are working so hard for at the Ranch. Thankful to have the friendships I do, and the time I able to spend with both Rhi and Ann before she leaves for Vermont.. I love our adventures to town.. mud bogging in the company vehicles, loving the sunshine and the crystal clear skies and freezing air.. watching the sun glisten in the new light everywhere, it is so gorgeous. For getting filthy dirty cleaning tractors and playing in a hose when it’s barely 30 degrees outside ;) For having the entire Spa to myself to crank the music and dance for ever.. for new ski pants, for fresh coffee.. and big beautiful windows <3
Each day is one day closer to something more magical, and I fall deeper in love with this life every day I have the chance to..
Cheers for tomorrow love, it is going to be enchanting <3

oct. 26 2010

i want to remember today as the day i fell in love...
everything in its crazy, confused, chaotic and beautiful bliss... pure life itself.. when you follow your heart and sing only the songs that replays in your soul.. <3

it was so beautiful today.

oct 25 2010

monday.. love...
goodness you have been a day.. it was absolutely beautiful to wake up to snow everywhere this morning, we got almost 4 inches last night and the storm is not supposed to stop until Wed. It was a perfect dark blue, snow filled cloud consumed day. You couldn't see 100 yards in front of you the clouds were so thick and at sometimes the snowflakes so huge, it was like magic. It was a very busy day.. trips to town and errands took up the entire afternoon after I got back from the gym and running errands of my own.. exhausting it was to be out for so long, running around the middle of a snow storm.. so thankful to be back here in the cabin where it is warm, the snow is outside and trent wagler is singing to me. So much going on right now it is hard to clear my head..
how much i wish i could just sit and watch the snow fall and think only of that.. it is beautiful even in the dark and i cherish the deep quiet i am able to melt into, save the decisions for tomorrow my love.. who knows what could happen.

oct 23

I think the final leaves have drifted off of my favorite aspen.. the day the snows came. The morning started off clear and bright blue., without the slightest hint of the secret storms that it was holding onto behind the mountains and to the north.. So it was Sam and I off into the woods chasing the light rays into the growing mountains of clouds deep gray against the chilling blue of the Tetons. It was warm when you were caught in the rays, but you could feel the bone chilling cold of the snow that was to come. Went for a good 6 miles or so, running for about half to stay warm.. then met Bentley and Mel back at the cabins for a quick run around in the last minutes of sun. The clouds moved in around two.. spent the afternoon cleaning, running, taking pictures and exploring more while we still could and the weather held off. Showered and came back to the cabin to make dinner and settle down while the sun set somewhere behind the blanket of gray.. They are calling for 12-18 inches before Monday, even though it is almost 8 o clock and a flake has yet to fall.. But the excitement is still there.. hopes of a beautiful white morning and sparkly snow to play around in <3
I love how comforting it is to me knowing that I can be completely alone.. or with sam.. back where you can’t hear a single thing except for the leaves and the wind, quiet with the height of the trees and the ceiling of pure, endless sky.. how amazing it is feeling completely home in any place so foreign, I love how wonderful it feels. I love hoe the gray skies bring out the other colors so brilliant, how the frost on your breath rests on the air around you.. how the sunlight managed to escape from underneath the clouds as the day was ending to dance one last time across the frozen mountainsides patiently waiting for the storm as well… all of nature waiting, anticipating the newness of change and promise of winter <3.

oct 22 2010

good evening beautiful.. oh so tired today.. not a lot of sleep last night between the phone calls, coyotes and cats in my comforter, and of course it is the morning I am called into town to finish up the landscaping around the ranch building first thing.. but that is how those things go. So after trying to rest my eyes for a couple of hours I was up and out of the cabin with the sun on the drive into town. It is the first morning I have gotten up in clouds, you walked outside and could instantly smell snow.. so freezing the air was to your skin, so still you could almost imagine the flakes falling.. but not yet. They are calling for the storm to hit sometime tomorrow night but the clouds were definitely moving in today.. like that Christmas morning feeling of anticipation. It was some what relaxing to sit in the huge white dodge and watch the mountains roll by for the drive. I had warm coffee and a comfort knowing fall had finally come, even in the gray they were beautiful.. even seeing three moose on the way. The sun was seeping through the covers when we pulled into Meridian and I spent the next couple of hours raking and shoveling; winterizing the gardens and sweeping the walk ways between the buildings. It is probably my favorite kind of work.. when you can be by yourself and just think.. it is a relaxing way to de-stress when you are working monotonously with your hands and by the end of it you feel a bit more grounded.. a bit more cleaned up, (even if you are covered in dirt..). Stopped at the store on the way home and we stocked up on groceries for the next week or so just in case the storm is anything like they are predicting.. might not be getting off the ranch for a while. Too exhausted to nap, I decided to to clean, and write, and try to figure out the next couple of months.. Still waiting to hear back from CO, even though I got the job I am hoping he has a housing solution for the next month before I start work (I am trying to move there the first week of Nov. however their season doesn't start until the end, near Thanksgiving..) But it will save me some money and hassle if I am able to move then and have a place to stay in the meantime.. then there is planning for Spring next year if I am coming back to Lost Creek (which I am planning on right now), trying to save up so I can finally make my trip to New Zealand for next year's winter season.. But ADD kicked in too quickly and I decided to go run, in the cold, see your breath, freeze your lungs 20 something degrees.. but it felt amazing. I am pretty sure this is my favorite weather.. high, alpine, dry cold.. and even during the day when it warms up is perfect. Wore myself out enough to want to settle inside for a bit, so I propped my cabin door open, cracked the windows, pulled on my hoodie and started painting :) Ahh.. and it felt so wonderful.. the first time I have set aside time to open my new paints, my pack of paper and just go. Had the radio on Mumford and Sons (my other musical addiction) and felt amazingly content creating my world through water colors... Stopped long enough to go relieve my new pet for the next two weeks ;) Sam, Dish's dog, I am taking care of while he is out of town.. A brand new wolf, fox, puppy just ready to go.. and just as hyper as one.. So we spent the better part of the evening outside on the horse trails back through the woods exploring in the fading light and darkening greys up ahead.. the feeling of snow so so close and so cold and wonderful. Now it is dark and we have settled into the living room.. Sam asleep on his chair, me at the kitchen counter listening to Kieth Urban and capturing the beautiful things about today.. So worth being awake and exhausted for the first real day of fall.. just to see the aspens glowing against the snow sky and the feeling of frost on my breath.. warm boots and the exhileration of running through the woods before the storm.. ahh it was magic <3